Loving the Death

Sometimes I feel that I have lost

Somethings that, to me, is a definite must

Hating life, and death I love

I'd rather go down there than above

I hate my life but I don't think I want to go

But I know my self-esteem is so low

My stomach hurts so much from the screams

But on the inside, the only side that seems

That no one sees, it's only the outside

That people look for, but I prefer the inside

My sides hurt so much and it hurts so bad

But when people think more of me it makes me so mad

I hate that people think I'm smart

I hate that people think I have a good heart

I hate my life, but I must not lie

I've tries so hard to make myself die

But I'm such a failure at every single thing

I have a deep dark side that sees nothing

Nothing that's good, everything bad

Would killing myself actually make people sad?