Speechless Invisibility

Book I

It was as if no one saw her, as if no one cared.

She didn't know they cared a lot more than she thought.

They didn't know what to do; they didn't know what to say

They never knew what she wanted – she kept all that to herself –

She kept everything to herself

She hardly ever spoke a word to anyone.

She kept so quiet that people wouldn't know she was there

She neither had any friends nor did she have enemies

No one liked her, no one hated her

She knew that.

She kept silent, moving through the hallways like a ghost

She had average grades so no one would notice –

They wondered if she had a secret, but she didn't say.

She was afraid that if she said something

That it would be too much information

So she kept quiet.

Book II

They didn't know what was going

To happen

They didn't ask her – she wouldn't have given them an answer

She might have known

But she said nothing.

They wanted to know

They wanted to find out

She didn't want them to know, she didn't want to find out.

But she knew something was going to happen,

She could feel it inside of her,

She felt it pulsing through her veins –

The adrenaline rushed around like a twister.

She was quiet on her last day,

No one ever saw it, but she had just known it was her last day.

She stared into space because she didn't want to see anything

She tuned out the teachers because she didn't want to hear them

She was quiet, very quiet, on her last day.

She was jumpy, knowing at any second it was going to happen.

But she wasn't frightened at all because she knew it wouldn't be a bad thing.

Book III

When it happened she knew

When it happened

Nobody else noticed.

She sat in the way back –

Just so no one would have

To see her –

Or not see her.

Since she was invisible

To the world anyway

It wouldn't have mattered

It was a loss that no one knew about.

She felt nothing,

No body parts –

Nothing.

She felt light –

So light

It was like landing

On the moon –

Weightless in thin air

It was like a door

That won't open

Or one that does

And it goes to nowhere

She wasn't afraid.

She accepted it –

She accepted all of it.

Book IV

Invisibility dominated her life

The bell rang

And everyone left –

Everyone except her

She wanted to make certain.

She picked up her books and walked past the teacher

Who did not see her.

She walked

Through the emptying hallways.

The students neither turned towards her

Nor did they acknowledge her existence.

Why was that?

Is it because they did not like her?

Maybe it was because they did not think

That she knew they were there either

But she did –

She wanted them to know that –

She wanted them to know she actually did exist.

She wished so much that they did nott think

That she was invisible

Now she really was.

And it was all her fault.