A Poisoned Soul

Book I

I remember her only from memory

Only from the photographs

I see her

I thought that it was they

That did not understand me

But I guess I was wrong.

Instead it was I

That misunderstood them

I could not imagine

What it was like without you

Until it happened

Book II

You left me and then

We were apart

Forever

I lied

When I said

That I hated you

I made up those rumors

I tell you the truth now

But I do not know why

I thought I loved you

I thought I was head over heals

Falling in love with you

But I guess I was wrong.

Book III

But I guess I was somewhat right

When I said

That you hated me.

But really

It was my entire fault.

It was because

I did not listen to you.

It was because

You thought I hated you.

Which I thought I did

But I lied.

To everyone I lied;

To everyone I said

I hated them.

Book IV

Let us see what the truth really is

Let us see

Because I want to know

And I know that you

Want to know as well

So here is the truth

I felt stupid

I felt neglected

I needed her

She was like a drug to me.

I injected her poison into me

Slowly and forcefully.

But it was as if

It did not work the first time

So I had to keep injecting the poison.

I never listened to anyone

Maybe I wanted the attention

So much that I did not care

At all about anything.

Or maybe I needed the attention

Because I felt

I had nothing left.

Or possible

I was just too desperate

For any attention

That I would do anything

To gain it.

Book V

I just want to say

That I am sorry

I am so sorry

For how much I have hurt you

How much have I

Drained you of life?

You did not deserve this.

I must have been so bad

That everyone hates me now

I wish

I could take it all back.

Never will it happen again

Because

I will never see you again.

I have gotten help

But then I needed more

I just wanted you to pay

For something you did not do.

It was my entire fault

Because

I was too stupid to know.

Because

That is who I really am.

I am a stupid child

Who knows not

Of the dangers

And the consequences

Which are to come.